Crazy With It Crazier Without
by SadEyedLadyoftheLowlands
Summary: Puck doesn't want to admit it but he likes Rachel Berry's crazy. But thing is - she's been really un-Berry like lately and it's freaking him out.
1. Restoring the Balance of the Universe Or

Chapter 1: Restoring the Balance of The Universe, Or Whatever.

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**A/N: This is my first Glee fic, and I'm pretty excited about it 'cause it's a Puckleberry! YAY! Funny thing is, I used to be all for Finn/Rachel until i started reading Puckleberry fics, and now I've been totally converted. AHH! Anyways, hope you like it, tell me what you think :) I hope everyone's in character.**

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Puck doesn't want to admit it, but he likes Rachel Berry's crazy. It's this totally messed up feeling that he refuses to acknowledge to himself, but it's there.

How Puck felt about Rachel was something out of the third grade. You see even Puck, the total badass stud that he is, used to chase girls around the playground, push them in the mud and pull their pigtails. When he really liked a girl, he would try to rhyme her name with poo and tell everyone she had cooties.

Of course, sooner rather than later, they would end up playing doctor in his basement. Santana Lopez slapped him in the face when he told her that her hair looked stupid, but a half an hour later he was kissing her for the first time behind the jungle gym while Finn kept a lookout.

So...throwing slushies in Rachel Berry's face for years? Well, it might have just been some other twisted Puck sign of affection. Or something.

I mean, there was no denying that Rachel was totally hot. A totally hot Jew. Something he could identify with himself. Puck also had a major thing for the school girl look, so Rachel's short skirts and knee highs kind of drove him mad. And when she got that crazy Rachel look in her eyes he was torn between be completely scared off and shoving her into a janitor's closet to have his way with her. Totally messed up, I know.

But ever since that Jesse douche left New Directions to go back to Vocal Adrenaline and Rachel's crazy little heart got broken, she's been totally not herself. Puck is sure he can't be the only one who notices. She doesn't fight Kurt and Mercedes for solos, she's stopped correcting everyone's singing techniques, she's stopped forcefully fixing Finn's shit dance moves, and he gets no response what so ever from her when he cracks a dirty joke.

It's the fucking Twilight Zone. And yes, he's watched that show, and its _badass._

So when he finds Rachel's pink sparkly binder lying lonely in the hallway after basketball practice he snatches it up before Finnessa can, and decides he's going to have to restore the balance of the universe or whatever.

Puck's only met one of Rachel's dads once and it was the day they'd ended up making out on her bed.  
Puck thought he had seemed nice enough, but he'd understood instantly why Rachel was so intense.  
Rachel's dad (the short one with glasses) had talked to him way too much about absolutely nothing and had all but offered to do his dry cleaning before Rachel had yanked him upstairs to work on the mashup.

_Pssh._ She just couldn't resist the guns of Puckerone.

But Anyway, this time when Puck had knocked on the Berrys' door, clutching that pink, sparkly thing, it was Rachel's other dad who answered and Puck almost shit himself. The guy had to have been about 10 feet tall. He also had giant badass muscles, and did I mention he was freaking tall? Puck was about to pretend to be collecting for a charity or something (because he generally did not do well with giant wrestler fathers), when the man broke out into a wide grin.

"Are you here for Rachel?" the man said in a deep voice, "You're in Glee club with her, right?"

Puck forced a smile and simply nodded.

"Well," the man opened the door and let him in, "Come on in." The man glanced upstairs. "I'm glad one of Rachel's friends has stopped by. She's been in a complete funk lately, and she won't tell me anything." The tall man sighed. "Do you know what's going on? Does it have to do with Jesse? He hasn't been by in awhile." Puck took in a breath.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "They broke up, I guess."

"Oh." Her father said, sadly, "Poor Rachel...Well she's upstairs in her room, first door on the left."

Puck gave a small smile of thanks and began to walk up the stairs. The whole conversation had been a bit awkward, but he was glad to have had a conversation with a girl's father that didn't end with him scrambling for his clothes and jumping out a window.

"She's listening to country music again." Her father called up, "she does that when she's sad."

When Puck reached Rachel's door, he heard the twanging of a woman's voice floating through the door into the hallway.  
Now feeling totally wierd for coming, he knocked on the door lightly.

Then he regretted it, because what if she had been changing and he hadn't knocked and he'd gotten to see her boobs?  
He had been dreaming about her again lately. Ever since that stupid theatricality assignment. Only now when she climbed in his window, she was dressed in her Gaga costume(the second hotter one), and she would ask him if she could take a ride on his disco stick. _Totally hot._

"Come in" he heard in a morose tone so he opened the door to find Rachel lying limply on her bed. When she saw it was him she sat up quickly.

"Noah!" She exclaimed, straightening out her clothes. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot this in the middle of the hallway." He said, holding up the binder. She looked at and then at him.

"How did you know it was mine?" She asked, softly. Puck gave her an incredulous look and looked at the binder again.

"It's pink and sparkly and it has gold stars all over it." He shoved it into her hands and smirked.

"Oh." She looked back at up him sadly. "Thanks for returning it."

_I fall to pieces each time I see you again_

_I fall to pieces how can I be just your friend_

The woman's voice warbled out of Rachel's stereo as Puck walked paced leisurely around Rachel's room.

"What's with the music?" He asked. "Doesn't seem like what you usually listen to..." Rachel sighed deeply and set her binder aside.

"Patsy Cline is known for having one of the most emotionally expressive singing voices of the country music genre. Her contralto voice is inspiration for various musical genres, one of which is show music. We can all learn from the pain she expresses through her voice." She turned to look at Puck. He couldn't help but notice her musical lecture was missing its usual pep.

"Berry..." Puck began, sitting next to her on her bed. "Is this about that Jesse douchebag? Because that guy's a tool. And Vocal Adrenaline's not gonna win." He gave Rachel his cockiest look. "And if they do, I'll beat them up, and steal their trophy."

Rachel looked at him like he was crazy.

"Noah, that is ridiculous." She began, "You can't steal their trophy, I mean first of all it would have Vocal Adrenaline's name on it, and not ours, and it wouldn't change anything because they still would have won, and you would probably go to jail. Also, there's way too many of them to beat up. And what about the girls?  
Are you going to beat up women, Noah?" Rachel looked at him indignantly crossing her arms across her chest.

Resisting the urge to stare at the way her boobs were pressed against each other because of the action, he smirked at the old crazy Rachel slowly coming back.

"Are you questioning my badassness?" He teased her, leaning his head in. Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes at him, but he saw her trying to resist a smile. For a moment, they were just staring at each other smiling, so close they could feel each other's body heat. This felt strangely familiar to the last time he was here and she had roped him into doing Run Joey Run.

Puck, suddenly realizing how close they were, stood up quickly needing to get out of there.  
"So, I should probably go now." Puck managed awkwardly, running a hand over his closely shaved head.

Rachel looked at him confused, and then slowly nodded. "Okay." She stood up and walked towards him. Smiling softly she stood up on her tiptoes, and before Noah er-Puck could figure out what was happening she was kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank-you, Noah." She chirped, and placed her hands on his arms, looking him square in the face. Trying to push aside all feelings of lust and whatever else for this hot Jewish girl in front of him, he swallowed and looked down at her.

"Hey, no problem, I mean I know you actually care about school, so you probably need your binder."

"Well, that yes," she smiled, "but also, for, well..." she trailed off and looked down. Puck's face grew serious.

"No problem, Berry." He said, touching her shoulder, and opening her door to leave. Turning one last time, "Hey, We could always make out." He leered at her.

Rachel let out a laugh, and rolled her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Noah." She said chuckling as she pushed him out of the door playfully and closed it in front of him.

Puck felt a little dissapointed. He was totally serious about the making out.

As he was walking down the stairs, he shuddered a bit at his realization. He was totally crazy hot for crazyass Berry.

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**TBC! Please Review :)**


	2. Crisis Unaverted

**Chapter 2:** Crisis Unaverted

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**A/N: Thanks for all the positive reviews! Read On!**

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Puck was having a hard time being in Glee today.

As much as he hated to admit it, Glee was usually something he usually looked forward to. He'd actually find himself thinking about it during his afternoon nap (the one he took during math class). It's not like he would 'Rachel Berry' think about it but he would look forward to it.

Today was no exception. If you ever told anyone he'd kick your ass, but he might have been excited today that things were back to normal and that Rachel wouldn't be moping around the choir room anymore. But it wasn't like he actually cared. It's just watching her had been a total downer. It would've made anyone a little testy.

Yes, we've established that Puck thought Rachel Berry was hot. Crazy hot. Yes, Rachel Berry was a kind of at the bottom of the social totem pole and he was a stud. But Puck was used to wanting to bang everything with boobs, why should Berry be any exception?  
He could deal with lusting after the brunette diva. Hell, it's not like he hadn't pictured Tina in a catholic school girl uniform once or twice.

But that being said, when Puck entered Glee after school that day, he sensed something was totally off. And it would only go downhill from there.

First of all, it was 5 minutes before practice and Rachel was no where to be seen. This was the first clue. If Rachel had truly felt like her old self again, she would have been here already, practicing some showtune and talking his ear off about Streisand or some shit.

The next thing that bothered him was that he had showed up so early. The only other people that were there were Tina and Artie and Puck felt like he might have interrupted something...or something? He didn't even try to make awkward conversation. If had tried, they might have asked him why he'd showed up so early.

The third and final warning sign was what Rachel had looked like when she finally entered the room 20 minutes late. It was no secret that Kurt hated Rachel's sense of fashion (and Puck knew it was because he liked guys because any hot blooded male could appreciate those short skirts),  
but when Rachel had entered the classroom that day, it was a whole new level of what Mercedes described as a 'hot damn mess'.

Puck was a little pissed, honestly. I mean _what the fuck?_ Did he not go out of his way yesterday to restore the universe to its natural order?  
Did he not make her feel better? It wasn't his fault she'd turned out a makeout sesh with the Puckster. If she hadn't maybe she'd be looking a little less limp and _fuck _why were her eyes all red? Was she crying!

He could hear Kurt and Mercedes whispering furiously behind him and it was becoming hard to concentrate. Not on Mr. Schue, of course who was going on about some other stupid weekly assignment, but on why the fuck he felt so shitty right now.

"Berry!" Puck whispered harshly to her, failing to gage her attention. "BERRY!" He said slightly louder, and then "RACHEL!".

Rachel finally looked up from her penny loafers looking destroyed and slightly confused at Puck's actions.

All Puck asked her was "What the fuck!", and Rachel started to look outraged instead of sad.  
Puck decided he liked that expression better. "Berry..." He began again, leaning over in her direction.

"Puck?" Mr. Schuester addressed him in front of the club, distracted by his loud whispering. Sure, but he never hears dear Kurt and Mercedes.

"'Sup Schue?" Puck answered, turning his face back to the front of the class, and smirking widely.

A few seats down, Rachel looked on, still frowning and completely puzzled at the boy's behaviour.

"Puck, can you continue your conversation another time please? What I'm talking about is really important if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals!" Schue said seriously, clasping his hands together. Puck rolled his eyes. Nothing they ever really did was that important. I'm sure they'd just wing it at Regionals again like they always did. Plus, what could be more important than their lead chick looking like someone had stomped all over her crazy little heart ? If Rachel didn't get her shit together they'd end up singing some disco song from the seventies or something and Puck didn't want to rock that look.

As Schuester continued his lesson, Puck wondered why no one else seemed to give a fuck that Rachel was upset. I mean it was a really unlikely scenario- the fact that Puck was the one so bothered. Shouldn't this be someone else's problem? Puck looked around the room at Kurt and Mercedes who were still whispering and giving Rachel dirty looks, then at Tina and Artie who were too busy flirting to be aware of anything around them, Santana and Brittany who were playing with one of those cootie catchers and giggling to themselves, then at Mike and Matt who seemed to be the only ones actually listening to Schuester.

Then he saw it and he wondered how the fuck he hadn't seen it before.

Finn and Quinn. Sitting next to each other. Now that was wierd in itself, but then he saw Quinn comment on something Schue had said to Finn and Finn cracked a smile, and Puck's stomach dropped when he saw Finn nervously glancing in Rachel's direction, then darting back to Quinn.

That was it. Puck had gone over the deep end. Why the fuck did it even matter? Okay it mattered. It mattered alot.  
And Puck wasn't even sure what the real reason for it was anymore. But he was sick of how everyone fucking worshipped the ground Finn walked on.  
_Why the fuck was Finn fucking flirting with Puck's babymama?_ And also, _why the fuck did Rachel just look like someone died? What had fucking St. Finn done?_

Puck looked back at Rachel who looked very interested in her hands, and frowned deeply.

There was this One time, Puck remembered during Glee, that he was talking to her and he'd brushed her shoulder, and it was so lightly, and it wasn't even on purpose, but 5 minutes later Finn had talked to her and he had full on touched her shoulder and Puck had felt some strange pang of jealousy. To be honest, it had seriously freaked him out.  
It wasn't even the fact that it was Rachel. Well he'd be kidding himself if he didn't admit it was. But it was also that it was Finn touching her and if there was one person he didn't want to touch Rachel it was Finn.

Finn was fucking Looney Tunes if he thought he was getting away with this shitstorm.

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Puck had wanted to ask Rachel what was wrong, but she had ran out of that room as fast as she had possibly could and he only had time to get out a "Beh.." before she was out of his sight. So when the only three people left in the choir room were Finn and Quinn and him, he took this as is golden opportunity to fix this shit.

"You wanna tell me what the fuck this is!" Puck said coldly over Finn's shoulder, and Quinn's face looked up at him actually looking kind of guilty.

"Puck..." she said in her sweet Quinn voice, but Puck wasn't going to fall for it.

"Are you seriously talking to me right now?" Finn said in a menacing voice that he'd only ever heard when Finn had first confronted him about Babygate,  
and then at Sectionals when he had refused to forgive him.

"Yeah, man..." Puck taunted, "unless there's another storybook giant around here somewhere...". He noticed Quinn looked super uncomfortable, but she didn't say anything. Finn stood up quickly and turned to face Puck.

"What the hell could possibly be your problem?" Finn fumed.

"Since when are you and Quinn all buddy buddy?" He asked simply, pressing his lips together, "You do remember that she fucked me and she's having _my _kid,  
right?" Puck could practically see the steam coming out of Finn's ears.

Quinn huffed. "Puck, seriously? What are you doing?" She asked, giving him a look, and placing a hand over her stomach.

Finn scoffed and laughed dryly. "Wow, you are a bigger asshole than I thought, Puck." Puck clenched his jaw and shoved Finn a little.

And that little action managed to escalate into a fistfight. Puck made sure they were safely away from Quinn and Beth of course.

"What the fuck is your problem, man?" Puck managed between punching Finn's face. Finn retaliated by hitting Puck against the ground.

"My problem!" Finn practically screamed, frustrated, "You're the one who fucked my girlfriend, and you're the one who fucking egged me on just now."

Puck felt a new burst of anger. "What" _*punch* _"about" _*slam* _"fucking" _*scramble*_ "Rachel!" Puck managed, shoving Finn, and Finn stopped suddenly, backing away.

Practically in unison, Finn and Quinn let out a confused expression, "Rachel!"

Puck glared at Finn. "Rachel Berry...she's a midget and she talks too much...?"

"Yeah, we know who Rachel Berry is, Puck." Quinn bit, and looked at him strangely. Finn wore a similar expression.

"What about her?" He asked, "she did look kind of sad today." Finn's puppy dog look and genuine expression of concern made Puck want to punch him in the face.  
Again.

"Sad?" Puck retorted, "She looked crushed. What did you do?" Finn looked completely confused again.

"What? What did I do? I didn't do anything."

Quinn was now looking at him like he had grown a second head.

"You're talking to Quinn. I thought you had the hots for Berry. I know she's all goo-goo eyes for you." Quinn seemed to throw up in her mouth a bit.

"Are we in an alternate universe where people care about Rachel Berry?" Quinn bit out, heading for the door, "I'm going to go wait by your truck for a ride home, Puck..." she sighed heavily, "with your daughter...far away from this...crazy."

Puck was unimpressed. He grunted an okay and turned back to Finn.

"If you didn't do anything, then why is she upset?" Puck interrogated, poking into Finn's chest. Finn seemed to be distracted.

"Maybe I should go ask her..." Finn looked towards the door, thinking about it.

Puck wanted to throw up. _No fucking way, Finnessa._

"Nah," Puck dismissed, "I'll do it." He shrugged and walked out of the choir room and right to his truck where Quinn was waiting, leaving a dumbfounded Finn in his wake.

"Done defending Rachel Berry's honour?" Quinn asked mockingly, her face breaking into a laugh.

"Shut Up." Puck grumbled, opening the door for her, and helping her in, then getting in himself.

"You have the hots for Crazy..." Quinn sing songed, teasingly as Puck pulled out of the school parking lot.

"Quinn..." he warned, shooting what he hoped was a badass glance in her direction.

"Seriously," She smirked, "What was that all about?"

Puck turned to look at her as he stopped at a red light. "I could ask you the same thing. You and Finn talking again? That's kind of weird".

Quinn's face grew serious quickly and she took a deep breath. "Puck..." Puck hit the gas again as the light turned green.

"I still love him. This is your daughter, but I still love Finn." She looked up through her long eyelashes in his direction and he snorted.

"Yeah, I know." Puck frowned, and she looked at him sympathetically.

But Puck didn't feel one pang of jealousy. Not one. Beth was his daughter.

So Quinn loved Finn, so what?

_As long as he stayed the hell away from Rachel..._

Puck tried to push away all thoughts that told him it was irrational to feel that way.

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"Hey"

Rachel stood at her locker the next morning when Noah Puckerman greeted her, leaning in closely behind her.

"Hello, Noah."

" 'Sup?" He asked, examining her way too closely. She tilted her head curiously and looked up at him.

"I'm gathering my books for English class." She continued to get her books out of her locker.

"Cool." Puck said, leaning against the locker beside hers and crossing his arms. She squinted at him again.

"Is there anything particular I can help you with, Noah?" He heaved a sigh, turned towards her and reluctantly spoke.

"What was wrong with you yesterday? You were all moody and shit. I thought you'd gotten over twinkle toes..." A smile slowly broke out onto Rachel's face.

"Twinkle toes?" She chuckled, giving him a questioning look. "Really, Noah, I didn't know you cared that much..." He scoffed.

"I don't. I just thought that you were over that creep." He leaned in dangerously close. "There are much better options for you, trust me."

Noah was leering at her. She opened her mouth to make a sound, but nothing was coming out.

When she placed a hand on his chest, he smirked wider, and she could see that lusty look in his eyes again.

Then she gently pushed him away, and he was frowning, and she was shaking her head so that she could think again like a normal person.

Rachel turned around and locked her locker.

"I was just having a really bad day Noah." She said, smiling sadly, "First I got slushied before homeroom hence my awful attire when I entered Glee, and then someone tripped me in the hallway before lunch, and then during Math, Jacob Ben Israel grazed my boob on purpose borrowing a pencil, which left me permanently and deeply scarred, and then," she paused for dramatic effect, "Kurt pretended he hadn't borrowed my Spring Awakening soundtrack when he has had it for at least two weeks, and he refuses to give it back." She sighed and leaned against the lockers beside him. "I was 20 Minutes late because my locker wouldn't open, and I needed to call the janitor to break my lock open...it was awful."

He wasn't sure whether to relieved or feel like a complete idiot. He'd punched Finn in the face. Repeatedly._ Oh Well._

"It's all right now, though." Rachel beamed at him, and motioned for him to follow her down the hallway. Puck grinned.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." He managed. One of Rachel's books began to slip out of her hand and he caught it. They locked gazes. Before he knew what was happening, he was asking her.

"Hey...what are you doing, Friday?" Puck was feeling a little unbadass. She looked away and they continued their walk.

"Oh...actually I'm busy."

"Busy doing what? Watching musicals?" Puck laughed. Rachel huffed.

"Noah...I do have a life you know." She swallowed. "I have plans with Finn."

Puck was a little dumbfounded. _Fucking Finn._ "What?"

"Yeah, yesterday he came over and we talked..." She said, "he noticed I was upset too."

Puck was seething. _No he didn't, I did. _He tried not to look like he wanted to spray the fire extinguisher on the next kid he saw.

"We're going mini-golfing..." She giggled, and Puck wanted to vomit.

"Great..." He said as sincerely as he could fake it, and Rachel waved goodbye as she entered her homeroom.

_Whatever_, Puck thought. _Rachel's back to normal now. It's all good._

But when he pulled some blonde cheerio into the janitor's closet for a quickie before lunch, all he could think about was ways to torture Finn, and what it would feel like if it were Rachel's legs wrapped around him.

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**TBC! Please REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	3. You're as Unpredictable as the Weather

**Chapter 3:** You're as Unpredictable as the Weather

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**A/N: Thanks so much for all the great reviews! I'm so glad you like the story! I'm getting frustrated with the lack of Puckleberry on the actual show, but pretty much I love every scene where they even talk to each other. It made my night yesterday when Rachel said "Shut it Puckerman!", seriously these two need to be on screen together all the time!**

**Anyways here's the next chapter. And it's extra long so happy reading!**

**P.S. FYI words in italics with stars around them are song lyrics!**

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"Puck, what are we doing here? Where the heck are we?"

"Shhh. I can't hear what's going on."

"Puck..." Quinn whined, as Puck motioned for her to crouch out of sight behind a bush. Puck peeked through a fence that lead on to a mini-golf course. "I'm really worried about the sanity of my child right now."

A brunette girl dressed in a red polka dot dress with a giant red bow around the waist came into view, and Quinn scoffed loudly. (What she didn't see was the frankenteen searching the surrounding area for his lost golf ball.)

"Are you kidding me?" She exclaimed loudly. "Rachel Berry! _Again_?" Quinn went stood up quickly.

"What are you doing!" Puck whispered frantically, ushering her to crouch back down and grabbing her arm gently. "Why are you complaining? I drove you to get your stupid Ben and Jerry's shit." Puck's gaze returned to the girl trying to putt her ball through a giant swinging grandfather clock.

Quinn sighed loudly and she glared at Puck. "That Ben and Jerry's shit was for _your_ daughter, Puckerman."

Puck's face was in a scowl as he struggled to hear what was going on. He let out a grunt of frustration.

"I can't hear anything from here, c'mon!" Puck started to walk around the shrubbery, and Quinn gave him a confused look before following.

"Uh, uh." She protested, forcibly turning him around. "I may have no life now that I'm Miss Teenage Pregnancy but I still have better things to do with my Friday nights than follow around Rachel "RuPaul" Berry..."

Puck turned around without looking and simply said "She's on a date with Finn", and continued to the entrance of the golf course.

"What!" Quinn shouted, hurrying after him, suddenly very interested.

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"I'm sorry you can't find your ball, Finn" Rachel smiled shyly at the tall boy in front of her.

"It's okay, Rach. It's just so weird. That's the second one I've lost tonight." Finn looked utterly lost in thought. "I didn't realize you'd be so good at this. I feel so un-competent or whatever."

"You mean incompetent, Finn?" Rachel looked at the boy, fighting her cringe at his improper English, "You're not incompetent, at all. Far from it. I'm only so good because of my Daddy. He plays the real thing at the country club almost every Sunday." Finn smiled at her goofily. "I could help you with proper technique if you want..."

"Yeah, that'd be cool." He responded moving closer to Rachel, her eyes staring dreamily into his.

"Holy Moses!" A voice called out obnoxiously from behind them, breaking their concentration on each other. "This is so weird..."

They turned to see Puck, who laid one hand on each of their shoulders.

"Fancy meeting you two girls here." Finn's face scrunched up in confusion before turning angry.

"Noah?" Rachel asked, matching Finn's confusion. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Yeah, man," Finn echoed, "What are you doing here?" Puck gave him the biggest grin he could and backed up to throw his arm around an extremely uncomfortable looking Quinn.

"Thought I'd take my babymama out for a nice game of mini-golf." He answered, pulling Quinn closer. "It wouldn't be nice to leave my best girl home on a Friday night."

"Oh." Finn took the information in, looking sadly at Quinn who shared a similar look at seeing him with Rachel, "well, we'll see you later I guess. C'mon, Rach." He went to pull Rachel to the mini Eiffel tower where the next hole was located, but she wouldn't budge. "Rachel?"

"I didn't know you two were officially dating." She addressed Noah and Quinn in a quiet voice. Her face in a slightly sad expression.

"We aren't" The speed at which Noah's hand left Quinn's shoulders was alarming, and Quinn rolled her eyes.

Finn and Quinn felt themselves feeling more uncomfortable at the exchange as Puck and Rachel locked heavily in each others' gazes.

"Oh." Rachel said, looking down awkwardly, "I guess what you said just reminded me of a song."

"A song?" Quinn said disbelievingly, with a side of bitchy. Puck didn't take his eyes off her.

"What song?" He asked, eyes narrowing in on her, sucking the air out from around her.

"One by the Beach Boys." She chirped, looking up again and then grinning. "I Get Around. You know '_all the guys go steady 'cause it wouldn't be right to leave their best girl home on a Saturday night'._"

"Not everything has to do with a song." Quinn complained. Then she looked at Finn. Puck took this as his cue to make this gathering as awkward as possible.

"So, are you guys on a date? 'Cause you make a super cute couple..." He asked, mockingly, trying not to gag in his mouth. Quinn tried not to look as upset as she was at the idea that Finn would date Rachel.

Finn looked at Quinn awkwardly and then at Rachel.

"Yes." "No.." came out simultaneously, and Rachel and Finn looked at each other in shock.

"This is a date?" Rachel asked Finn, face looking surprised. Finn gave her a fuzzy look.

"What do you mean? Of course it is. You're broken up with Jesse. I thought..." Finn struggled with his words as Rachel's eyes darted around uncomfortably. "I sang that song to you in Glee, and ...I told you I wasn't giving up on you Rachel!"

Quinn felt like crying. _Finn was totally in love with Rachel. _Why had Puck dragged her here?

"Finn, I—I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression but this isn't a date...I thought you were just being a good friend." Rachel looked up at the boy apologetically.

"B- But-" Finn stuttered.

"I might be over Jesse but -that doesn't mean I'm ready to date again and frankly-" Rachel took a deep breath and looked down again, embarrassed. "I don't know if I _ever_ want to date you again, Finn. You really hurt me last time." Puck grinned triumphantly.

That was the blow that crushed Finn's feelings and he stormed away from Rachel, shoving Puck on the way. "Finn!" Rachel called out helplessly, regretting the impact of her words.

Puck knew he should feel bad for Finn. But instead he just felt good. _Really good._ And when Quinn chased after Finn, calling out his name, and he was left alone with Rachel, he felt so badass and good, he was fearless. _Fucking fearless._

Then he saw that Rachel was glaring at him.

"What?" Puck said confrontationally, moving to stand closer to Rachel

"You did this on purpose." She stated, shaking her head at him, still glaring.

"What?" Puck repeated. "Why would I want to ruin you and Finn's not- a -date?" He paused and leaned closer. "By the way, Berry, try not to lead the guy on next time." Rachel made this outraged noise, and her face scrunched up in this cute little scowl. Wait, _cute_?

"Noah Puckerman, you are an insufferable jerk. Not only did you upset Finn more than was needed by coming here, but you left your pregnant girlfriend to chase after him."

"I told you we're not dating!"

"But she's having your child! And it looks like it's going to rain! And I had an impeccable score before you got here!" Rachel huffed, picking up her putter and pink golf ball and walking past Noah to leave.

"Hey, I did you a favour!" He protested following her through the crowd.

"Way, to take forever at that hole, asshole!" Some douchebag exclaimed as they passed, and Puck just flipped him off.

"A favour?" Rachel exclaimed indignantly turning back to him.

"Yeah. A favour. You would have crushed that guy like a soda can, and you don't even realize it. His feelings are really delicate. He's like a freaking girl." Puck gestured wildly with his hands as Rachel calmed down slightly.

"I didn't realize you still cared about Finn, Noah." Rachel commented and Puck suppressed a laugh.

(Okay, so he was totally lying his ass off about why he came here, but he didn't want Rachel to know that he couldn't stop dreaming about her and that he'd wanted to shove Finn into that giant grandfather clock headfirst, and carry Rachel off on his shoulder like a caveman. I mean that shit was _crazy.)_

"Of course I care. Look, we may not be friends anymore...for some reason. But, I still don't want to see the guy get hurt." He was sure he was coming off as an awesome gentleman guy when Rachel started beaming at him.

"Oh, Noah." She cooed and looked into his eyes. "You're a terrible liar." She ended, and turned around to do her best diva storm off, leaving Noah a little dumbfounded.

He let out a groan._ I mean, what the fuck was that?_

It didn't take long when Rachel reached the parking lot to realize that Finn had been her ride there, and he was now long gone. Refusing to find Noah and ask for a ride due to her stubborn pride, and the fact that he was a complete Neanderthal, she searched for her cell phone.

That's when it began to pour and the wind swept up, and she was suddenly in the middle of a torrential rainstorm. The red bow drooped around her waist as tons of people ran past her to get to their vehicles.

When Noah heard the rain hit the roof of his truck as he started it up, he saw her. She looked a drowned kitten. It was the most pathetic thing he'd seen in his life. And he'd seen her covered in slushie by his own hand many times. (Which he felt super bad about, in case you were wondering). It didn't take much internal deliberation to do what he did next.

Puck pulled up to the curb beside her and rolled down the window as rain flew in at him.

"Berry!" He yelled, "Get in!"

Rachel glanced up at him, contemplating his offer. "No, Noah. I'm still angry at you for being completely selfish and immature!" Some other douchebag in an SUV honked at him from behind.

So, Puck did the only thing he could think of, he got out of the truck—physically picked Rachel up and forcibly placed her into the passenger seat.

(Although there was some kicking and struggling, he was pretty sure the fight she put up was for show. Who in their right mind would want to stay outside in that?)

Puck put the truck back into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. Rachel was still not speaking.

"So, Finn just left you here? What an asshat." Puck commented, glancing in the direction of the passenger's seat, trying to get a reaction from Rachel. She stayed quiet, with her arms crossed, looking straight ahead.

"Quinn hitched a ride with him, in case you were wondering." He continued. "So _I'm_ not. An asshat that is."

The silence was deafening. Puck turned on the radio.

When Rachel uncrossed her arms, Puck couldn't help but sneak glances at the way the wet fabric of her dress clung to her chest, he thought he might be able to see her nipples through her shirt. He wondered if she was wearing a bra and what it looked like and -

"Why did you really come here, Noah?" Rachel's voice broke his sexy thoughts after what seemed like an eternity of the silent treatment.

He made a hissing noise at the situation. What excuse could he feed her this time?

He decided to avoid the subject. "Am I dropping you at home?" He asked as he neared her street. She gave him a strange look and nodded.

"Yes, please." Rachel pulled down the mirror above the dashboard, looked at her appearance and frowned. "I look like a drowned rat." She observed morosely, pushing the mirror back up in place.

Puck smirked and let out a little laugh. "You do look pretty funny." Rachel pouted at him playfully as he pulled into the driveway, and his expression turned more serious. He turned to look at the girl beside him and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Rachel..." he said softly, tucking a hair behind her ear and looking into her eyes.

A Kings of Leon song came on the radio and the dreamy chords filled the car.

_*That taste. All I ever needed. All I ever wanted. Too dumb to surrender.*_

"Noah...?" Rachel's voice questioned breathily as her vision turned hazy. The sounds of her hair dripping on his seat was pretty loud.

_Drip._

Rachel was sure her heart skipped a beat.

_Drip._

Puck leaned in closer.

_Drip._

Rachel leaned in closer.

_Drip._

And then _BAM!_

It started to hail. The sky pelleted bullets of ice onto Puck's truck and it jarred the two kids out of their reverie.

Rachel jumped, and Puck scowled.

"Holy Fuck!" He cried out as one giant piece of ice made a tiny crack in his windshield. _This was some bipolar weather._

"Oh no!" Rachel said simply and grabbed Puck's sleeve. "Noah, you can't drive in this. Driving during hail can be dangerous. What if it cracks your windshield more? Maybe you should come inside!"

"Shit!" He said still examining the crack and then looking at Rachel, "Maybe you're right." Puck grabbed a jacket from the backseat and turned to Rachel pulling it over his head. "Ready?" He asked her, and without waiting for an answer, ran out the door, around to her side, pulled her out and under the jacket, and then towards the door.

When they got inside, Puck leaned against the door and looked at Rachel who was jumping up and down like she was on fire. She let out a squeal.

"It's crazy out there!" She cried, and he laughed. "Let me go get changed. I'll get you a towel!" She ran upstairs in a flash and Puck paced around in her foyer. He was pretty sure her dads weren't home, because the house was silent besides the loud showtunes he could hear coming from Rachel upstairs as she dried her hair and changed.

He'd never took a look around in her living room before. It was like a shrine to Rachel Berry. It was covered in childhood photos of her.

He picked up one that he found particularly hilarious which showed Rachel dressed as one of those cats from that musical - you know- about the cats. He wouldn't be caught dead ever seeing that shit, but he'd be lying if he didn't think Rachel had looked adorable in whiskers.

Putting the picture down, Puck groaned at the feeling that he was going soft.

_Boobs._ he thought. _This is all about Rachel's boobs. I never got to touch them. I want to touch them. She has hot legs. And boobs. I want to touch her boobs._

He repeated the mantra over and over in his head.

"Noah!" Rachel called from upstairs. "Come here!". Puck let his imagination wander. Rachel was calling him into her bedroom. _Nice._

But when he got there she was not naked. Or in that sexy nightgown with the Star of David around her neck. She wasn't even in her room. "Rachel?" He called out confused.

"I'm in here!" She called from across the hall as she held out a t-shirt and sweatpants for him. "These are my dad's but they should fit."

"The super tall giant wrestler one?" He asked hesitantly with narrowed eyes, and she giggled.

"No, that's my daddy. These are my dad's." She placed them in his hands along with a towel. "Go get changed and I can dry your clothes for you."

Slightly dissapointed that she was asking him to put on clothes instead of walk around naked, "Ok." He turned around for a second on the way to the bathroom. "Speaking of your dads, where are they?"

"Oh, it's their date night. They won't be back until late." She smiled at Puck. And he grinned and wagged his eyebrows at her.

"Looks like you might get some alone time with the Puckasaurus after all."

"Really, Noah?" She laughed at him, and he shook his head.

"Whatever babe, you know you want a piece of this"

Rachel pushed him towards the bathroom door as he continued to leer at her.

"Go get changed." She ordered, and he looked down at her grabbing her arm lightly.

"Thanks." He said sincerely, and she smiled again.

"It's no problem, Noah." He backed into the doorway without taking his eyes off of her. "I'll go make us a snack or something while we wait for the weather to die down."

"Cool." Puck closed the door and began to change.

Rachel's eyes widened as she skipped down the stairs. _She couldn't possibly go there with Noah again, could she? _There was something behind his words, she could feel it, but this was Noah Puckerman we were talking about. She smiled at the memory of how he'd brushed her hair behind her ear in the truck.

Then she frowned thinking of the way he'd sabotaged Finn.

She was totally emotionally confused. There was only one question left to ask.

_WWBD? - What would Barbra do?_

Meanwhile, Puck grinned at himself in the mirror.

_She hadn't denied wanting him, had she? _He thought, pulling on the sweatpants.

Then_, Rachel Berry? Really, Puck?_

_

* * *

_

_* She wades in and out of sexy_

_She must be plum crazy_

_I kinda think I like her_

_I kinda think I do. *_

_

* * *

_

**TBC! Keep the amazing reviews coming!**

**Song mentioned in the story was Arizona by Kings of Leon...**


	4. That's Not Kosher, Rachel Berry

**Chapter 4: **That's Not Kosher, Rachel Berry.

* * *

**A/N: So the Finnchel in the Finale was cute and all but PUCKLEBERRY FTW. **

**P.S. This chapter is a little more 'mature' than others so heads up.**

**

* * *

**

Puck walked down the stairs in his new dry clothes and felt his stomach grumble. And he heard it.  
When he made his way to the kitchen his first thought was that he had somehow walked into one of those 1950's family sitcoms where the kids said "golly gee" and the women were super perky housewives who cooked all the time.

The kitchen table was covered in food and Rachel was even wearing one of those frilly pink apron things as she placed the plates down.  
Puck managed a good long look at her legs in the skirt she was wearing before getting her attention.

"Uh, Berry?" Puck exclaimed and she jumped a little, just noticing his presence. "You expecting more people?" He chuckled, and she just shook her head and beamed at him.

"No." She rolled her eyes. "I'm just starving and I didn't know what you would like." She waved her arms wildly as she set another plate down.  
He moved closer to her, looking down at the food.

"So what have we got here?" Puck looked wearily at the spread. He'd forgotten that Rachel was a vegan.

"Well, these are avocado and spicy sprout sandwiches on Essene bread, and these are cumin crisps, and this over here is some almond butter stuffed celery. Ooh and some apple and cucumber waldorf salad, and I made some non-dairy grilled cheese sandwiches." She grinned widely at him handing him a plate.

He tried not to cringe. "Umm...I don't really eat things that are...green." She frowned and looked at him like he was crazy.

"Noah, what are you talking about? You must eat vegetables, how could you end up so tall if you didn't have proper nutrition?"

He smirked at her and flexed his muscles. "Real men eat meat. That's all we need. I'm a carnivore, babe." He looked down at the table. "And how the hell do you make grilled cheese sandwiches without dairy?" He questioned incredulously, poking at the sandwich as if it would crawl off the plate.

"Soy cheese." She explained, clearly frustrated. She picked up the triangle sandwich and shoved it at him. "Go ahead, try it."

Puck was sure she was trying to torture him. Sure he was starving. But for a steak or some bacon or a wild boar or some shit. So what if he wasn't supposed to eat pork. God was a dude. He understood. Hell he would've killed for chicken right now. Instead he found himself biting down into something he wasn't even sure was supposed to be eaten, while Rachel looked on expectantly.

He chewed the sandwich. Okay, so it wasn't that bad. But he could totally tell it wasn't real cheese and found himself having trouble swallowing. The sick part was that he found himself forcing a smile and saying stuff like mmm instead of spitting out.

_Okay, What the fuck was that about?_ He wasn't even getting any from Rachel (hell he hadn't even kissed her since last fall) and he was letting her force him to eat her vegan shit and he wasn't even man enough to tell her he didn't like it.

Some stupid part of him was afraid of hurting her feelings. He didn't want to crush that crazy grin he'd grown fond of. And after all,  
she had made them some food. Even if it wasn't anything edible and most of it didn't look like food...

Besides, when he pretended to enjoy it, she just beamed at him more, and he was sure he was getting somewhere. Some territory near "let's get naked and bang".

That was his whole goal, _right?_

Somewhere between shoving vegetables and lettuce down, and looking at his empty plate and feeling like he hadn't eaten anything, he'd noticed Rachel had already finished eating and was cooking something on the stove. The smell wafted into his nostrils, and he imagined that that was what heaven smelled like.

Rachel finished up and plopped a plate in front of him and he looked down at three pieces of bacon.

"This is all the meat we have in the house."

Puck felt some strange twinge in his chest when he looked up at her.  
Rachel had made him bacon. Rachel Berry, the vegan, who was scared that eating eggs meant that mama chickens would come after her for killing their babies, had made him bacon.

He picked up a strip and bit into it. "Oh, my, lord." He rolled his eyes back in his head in pleasure. "Thank you." Then he paused. "Wait, I thought you were all for being kosher?"

She smiled sweetly. "It's Turkey bacon." Rachel began to gather the plates. "And it's Daddy's"

_See, meat. That's why that guy was a giant. Fuck vegetables._

He pondered that for a moment, then shrugged as he shoved the meat into his mouth. He momentarily noticed Rachel cringing at his lack of manners.

_Hey, meat was meat._

"Your lack of table manners is astounding." Rachel commented as she put the dirty plates in the dishwasher and gathered the empty one that now sat in front of him.

"Oh, you love it." Puck smirked lecherously. "I'm all man, baby."

Rachel rolled her eyes at him again.

Oh yeah, he drove her crazy.

* * *

Some time later it had stopped hailing, and Rachel and Puck were sitting on her couch watching some badass reality tv show about cops (that Puck had picked of course), where this woman who was all cracked out was running from the po-po and flashing an entire suburban neighbourhood.

He thought the shit was hilarious, but all Rachel kept lamenting about was how sad it was that this woman's life had come to this, and how she needed professional help, and she felt sorry for her, and how she thought it was sad how they were turning this woman's misery into entertainment.

Berry was totally ruining his entertainment, that's for sure.

It was on a commercial break when Rachel turned to him after glancing out the living room window. "It stopped hailing." She observed. "You can probably drive home now if you want to". He noticed that she looked sad.

"Yeah, probably." Puck answered, looking at the television instead of her. He reached for the remote and turned the television off.

"Ok then." Rachel said meekly, and he made no move to leave.

"Or we could make out." He really wanted to see if that line would work again. Instead, Rachel just looked confused. Before Puck knew what was going on she was standing up.

She looked down at him nervously, smoothing her skirt. "I don't think that that is a good idea." She fidgeted and Puck looked at her curiously.

"What's the problem?" He stood up and leaned in towards her, and tucked a hair behind her ear. He heard her take a sharp intake of breath. "You're free.  
I'm free. We're both hot jews." He whispered in her ear, "Just give in, baby."

Rachel's eyes widened and she shivered as his hand stroked her arm. He seemed like an eternity as his mouth inched closer and closer to hers until his lips caught hers in a searing kiss.

Rachel was having trouble remembering why she had thought this was a bad idea. _Something, someone, blah blah blah..._ Her mind became hazy and all she felt was...

"Noah..." She gasped as he nipped at her ear and peppered kisses on her neck. They had somehow ended up on the couch. She was beneath him and he was touching her. All she knew was there were hands and there was his mouth, _and yes. Oh yes._

Puck kept making long strokes up and down her sides as he kissed her and she had her hands on his shoulders. Puck was pretty sure she had a thing for his guns. She kept squeezing them and pulling him closer. When he heard her gasp his name again, he was sure he was going to come in his pants. _But Bitch, please, he wasn't Finn._  
If she was this turned on by just kissing, he dared to imagine what she would look and sound like if they were doing more.

Rachel was in a daze. She had lost all control of her body. She heard herself but it sounded like a different person. She could feel everything, but her body seemed to be doing things without her consent. And things were getting too hot and too heavy _too fast_.

When she felt his mouth dip below her neck into the valley of her breasts, she internally panicked but still did nothing. It felt way too good.

When Puck inched his hands towards her chest, she found herself guiding his hands to touch her breasts. Why had she been so opposed to this when they were dating?

When Rachel had not only allowed Puck to feel her up, but actually placed his hands on her boobs, he was sure it was his lucky day. What had he possibly done to deserve this? Could he even ask for more than to be able to touch Rachel's boobs? He'd only fantasized about it for months and months. Actually if he was honest with himself, probably years. But God was the one that told him he should seduce Rachel...

And although some men might like their chicks well endowed, he was pretty sure he was in love with Rachel's boobs. They were the perfect size.  
He could fit one in each hand, and when he squeezed she squirmed beneath him. He was pretty sure Rachel did not know how awesome her boobs were.

He placed another kiss on the pulse point of her neck and then he started to suck and Rachel breathed hotly into his ear.

Rachel was vaguely aware that he was giving her a hickey but at the moment she didn't care. Surprisingly, she didn't care about much of anything. Her head had cleared, and their were no more voices. Well there was one, and all it was doing was saying '_yes'_.

However the situation came to a crashing reality when she felt Puck's hands leave her breasts and inch down towards her stomach, slipping beneath the waistband of the skirt she had changed into. His lips were crushing against her, when she felt his fingertips brush across the crotch of her underwear and he bit her lip she felt a sudden jolt. She reached up and held his shoulders at bay.

Puck was a little caught up in the moment, admittedly. All he knew was that he was kissing Rachel Berry and she had finally let him get to second base, and he had ran with it. When he had slipped his hand under her skirt it was almost instinct. And when Rachel had pulled away, he felt his gut drop.

_Shit._

"Noah." She said, voice pained instead of turned on. He opened his eyes to look at her and he pulled his hand away from her underwear.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked, taking in her mussed hair and lips. She looked thoroughly kissed, for sure.

"I..." she closed her eyes, and he felt her freeze in his arms, she spoke meekly and hesitantly, "It's just. No one's ever touched me there before."

Puck took a deep breath and looked at her. He could see fear in her eyes. He didn't like it. "Really?" He asked softly, placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth. She shivered in his arms again.

Puck was pretty sure if this were any other girl, he would've left by now. But the fact that this was Rachel Berry who he was on top of still fully clothed who was freaking out about him touching her was important. The fact that he'd even got that close was something.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked as huskily as he could manage, kissing her neck and reaching down to grab her hips to pull her against him. "Or are you excited?"

"I..." Rachel was getting confused again. He needed to stop touching her.

"Noah." She tried.

"Noah." She struggled in vain. She wasn't trying that hard, anyway.

"Noah!" She said much louder and he pulled away from her. "I can't do this right now." She slipped out from under him and jumped to stand up.

Puck just sat there on the couch in an awkward position feeling a little dumbfounded.  
"Baby, I'm sorry. We don't have to do anything but kiss, just come back here..." He patted the spot beside him. Rachel looked at him worriedly and fidgeted with the bottom of her shirt.

She shook her head. "I think you should leave now."

_Wow. Cold bitch, much?_

Puck looked at her, sure she was crazy. "Babe, what is the deal?"

"I just can't" She explained, looking at him, slightly frustrated.

To say Puck was upset at this turn of events was an understatement. It couldn't be that he tried to steal second base, because he had been uncharacteristically understanding about her freakout.

_Was it him? Had he lost his suave?_ He looked down at his guns. _Nope. He was still freaking badass. He oozed sex. _He knew it. She knew it a couple of minutes ago.

Then a thought occurred to him, that he would wish later he hadn't asked.  
"Is this about Finn?"

"What? No!" Rachel protested a little too much for his liking.

"Really?" He said, angry now.

"Yes, really!" Rachel said indignantly and crossed her arms. She huffed as he put his feet up on the coffee table and turned the tv back on.

"What are you doing!" She yelled at him.

Puck maintained a stony expression. "I'm staying here until you tell me the truth." Rachel's mouth opened in an outraged expression.

She moved her body in front of the screen.

"Babe, can you move? I'm trying to watch Intervention." His snark did not go unnoticed.

"Noah." She grabbed the remote out of his hand and turned the television off. "Okay. I still have feelings for Finn."

Puck suspected as much, but he didn't expect how much he would feel like shit when she actually said it out loud. He frowned deeply.  
This felt like Run Joey Run all over again. Had she made out with Finn earlier, too? Did he touch her boobs?

"I probably always will." Rachel continued, "I just, don't think that we should be going that far when I'm still emotionally entangled in my past relationships..."

"I thought you said that you didn't want to date Finn anymore." Puck stated gruffly, making no move off of the couch, refusing to look in her eyes.

"I don't" She continued. "I...don't."

"You don't?"

"No?"_ Really? Answering in the form of a question?_

"You don't?"

"I do not." _Rachel's voice wavered. _

"You're sure?"

"I'm...pretty sure." Puck let out a loud groan and stood up, heading for the door.

"Okay, that's it. I'm out." He groaned, slipping on his shoes. "You're freaking crazy."

Rachel looked hurt. All Puck could think was _Seriously, you don't know that by now?_

"But, your clothes, Noah..."

"You're the one who wanted me to leave. I'm leaving. I can trade you back for my clothes on Monday." His tone was ugly, and Rachel shoulders went limp.

"Alright." She looked down. Puck opened the door. She looked up at him with sad eyes and put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Noah."

He pursed his lips and left the Berry residence without a word. It may have stopped hailing bullets but it was still pouring and he found himself getting soaked again on the way to his truck in the driveway.

_Shit,_ like he cared, anyway.

Rachel leaned against the doorway. She'd done the right thing, right? She couldn't enter into a relationship with Noah when she still had feelings for Finn. She didn't even want to admit to herself the depth of the scars that Jesse had left. Noah probably didn't even want a relationship anyway. I mean this is Noah Puckerman we're talking about.

She laid back on the couch and closed her eyes.

Why did she feel so sad when he was gone?

* * *

By the time Puck got home it was around 10 o clock and he found Quinn sitting on the couch with his sister watching the Little Mermaid.

It was probably his least favourite Disney movie. And his head was killing him and he wanted to face plant into his mattress.

But stupid Sarah was singing along and she ran and dragged him from the doorway where he was sopping wet towards the living room.

Quinn was sitting there, radiating happiness, which was a really odd sight for Quinn lately and she was knitting? What the fuck?

She looked up at his sorry ass. "Where have you been?" She asked, teasingly, as Sarah danced energetically to 'Under The Sea' around him.

"Having sex. With cougars." He replied monotone, sitting down on the couch, not caring if he got it wet.

_Couldn't she tell he wasn't in a good mood?_

"Sure." Quinn answered, disbelievingly continuing to grin widely.

"What the hell are you so happy about?"

Quinn just turned back to the television and sighed happily. "No reason."

That's alright. Puck already knew.

_Fucking Finn._

He thought God was on his homeboy. Instead he'd thrown all the chicks in his life to Finn.

_Maybe he shouldn't eat so much pork?_

_

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_

**THANKS FOR READING :)**

**PLEASE BE SURE TO REVIEW!**


	5. Reunited

**Chapter 5:** Reunited

* * *

Puck didn't know how he ended up a part of this fucked up love quadrangle or square or whatever (and he also used the term love loosely because wanting to bone Rachel Berry and having boned and subsequently knocked up Quinn Fabray did not equal love).

Puck also didn't know what the hell was going on inside Rachel Berry's head, but at least that was already a given. Rachel Berry was a loon and that was the natural balance. At the very least, he could take comfort in that.

What was really bugging him at the moment was Finn.

_#1_ Why all the girls fell for the guy who almost failed kindergarten. Yes. It's true. Puck was there and even he felt embarassed.  
(Maybe they felt sorry for him and his dopey expression) (Or maybe Rachel had a daddy complex and was attracted to him because Finn and her father had both escaped from a beanstalk or something)

_#2_ Though he was reluctant to admit it, he was majorly perturbed that it looked like Finn had chosen to forgive Quinn and had her knitting and watching Disney movies with his sister and smiling (genuinely!) when his mother went on one of her crazy judgmental tangents.  
Whatever happened to bros before hos? He and Finn had been best friends since they could talk! (Even when Finn went through this phase in the first grade when he thought he was a superhero and wore a bed sheet to school as a cape and would try to rescue all the girls in the playground from Puck who was, as previously mentioned,pushing them in the mud and rhyming their names with poo)

So now he was trying to keep himself from barfing all over the choir room as Quinn and Finn sang a duet, _A FUCKING DUET._

Finn looked at Quinn with a ridiculously goofy expression:

_"I was a fool to ever leave your side _

_Me minus you is such a lonely ride _

_The breakup we had has made me lonesome and sad _

_I realize I love you 'cause I want you bad, hey, hey"_

Quinn beamed at him as she cut in:

_"I spent the ev'ning with the radio _

_Regret the moment that I let you go _

_Our quarrel was such a way of learnin' so much _

_I know now that I love you 'cause I need your touch, hey, hey"_

They both sang together:

_"Reunited and it feels so good..."_

Oh geez...they couldn't have picked a more obvious song could they ? Reunited? Puck felt sick.  
He wondered where the verse was that said:

_ 'I forgive you for fucking my best friend _

_Once I give birth to his devil spawn we can begin again'_

Puck glanced over at Rachel whose forced smile looked so painful, Puck winced. (Or maybe it was the song?)

_"Reunited and it feels so good _

_Reunited 'cause we understood _

_There's one perfect fit _

_And, sugar, this one is it _

_We both are so excited_

_ 'Cause we're reunited, hey, hey"_

Frankenteen and Miss Teenage Pregnancy finished their duet and clapped and smiled widely at Quinn and Finn.

"That was great, you two. It's amazing how much you can express through song. Music truly has the power to bring people together." Mr. Schuester out his hand on Finn's shoulder, "Why don't you two take a seat?"

"Regionals are coming up quick, kids and we need to finalize our setlist." Mr. Schue clapped his hands together. "We need to select 3 songs and one of them, again, has to be a ballad."

"I vote we do Gaga." Kurt suggested, examining his cuticles. Mercedes and Brittany nodded enthusiastically.

"No way." Finn protested. "How about we do the Kiss number?"

Before Puck knew it he had already said it. "I think we should do Gaga." He saw Rachel (and the rest of Glee) gape at him from the corner of his eye.

"Wait, what?" Kurt asked him, disbelievingly. Mike attempted to give him a high five while Matt, Finn and Artie gave him a weirded out look.

"I was under the impression, Noah," Puck heard Rachel on the other side of the room. "That you not only thought Lady Gaga was a man, but that she was and I quote 'bat shit crazy'?"

"Yeah, so are you Berry and we don't kick your bipolar,wishy washy ass out..." he bit at her, his hurt from Friday's confession clear on his face. Rachel frowned and looked down at her lap. Artie wore a strange look at the exchange. Puck continued.

"Besides, Vocal Adrenaline's doing it, right? We want to take them, don't we?" _And Finn would hate it_, Puck didn't say.

"That's exactly why we shouldn't do Bad Romance" Artie offered, looking at Tina apologetically. "We need to do something that's completely us, no comparisons to Carmel and..."

"And that traitor?" Puck finished for him, "I guess you're right." Puck shrugged and looked at Rachel who was seemed to be furiously brainstorming and writing down her ideas. Finn discretely placed his arm around Quinn's chair and she gave him a small smile.

Rachel didn't even notice.

* * *

"Noah?" A small voice called out from behind Puck as he headed towards the doors outside of McKinley High. He turned to find Rachel looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Crazy." He acknowledged, waiting impatiently.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize for Friday. I know I hurt your feelings but it wasn't my intention whatsoever. I was only trying to be honest."

Puck shifted his eyesight nervously. "Hurt?" He scoffed. "Not at all. Badasses don't get hurt. Annoyed, yes. You annoyed me. But I should have known. I mean you are Rachel Berry. That's like your M.O. or whatever."

Rachel frowned.

"Noah..."

"Berry..." He mimicked her voice, and she huffed and crossed her arms.

"Why did you show up on Friday and crash my date with Finn?" She questioned sternly, raising an eyebrow.

Puck felt a vein twitch in his eye as he searched for a reason to tell her. "I thought you said it wasn't a date? Oh wait, but you also said that you didn't still have the hots for Finnessa and you lied about that too, so..."

"Why did you come, Noah?" She questioned just as forcefully, becoming more annoyed. He leered at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Why did I _cum_?" He asked, leaning closer. Rachel huffed and stomped on his foot as hard as she could.

"You are reprehensible!" She exclaimed as Puck let out a yell and held his foot. _Who knew a midget stomping on your foot would hurt so much?_

"What the hell, Berry?" He exclaimed. "that fuckin' hurt!"

"Good, I'm glad." Rachel said defiantly, crossing her arms yet again.

"I thought you were against violence!"

"I am." She said smiling. "But I'm also against your disgusting double entendres." Puck clenched his jaw.

"Look, I gotta go now, so if we're done here..." He turned and began to walk away when Rachel's hand tugged his arm.

"Why won't you answer my question, Noah?" Puck's resolve was weakening when he looked into Rachel Berry's stupid freaking doe eyes. It was just like when she begged him to do Run Joey Run. He felt like mush. It was extremely unpleasant. But if there was one thing he knew for certain, he was never telling Rachel Berry what possessed him to crash her date at that mini golf course.

He had to do something and quick.

"Don't flatter yourself, Berry." He bit out, shaking her hand off his arm. "I wasn't jealous or anything. I mean you're hot and everything with those short skirts and knee socks but I could really care less who you fucking date. The Puckzilla will get a piece of the Berry pie either way." He leered down at her and her face fell. It contorted and she looked sick.

Rachel backed away. "It's I _couldn't_ care less. Not you _could_ care less, that means you care, which evidently you don't! About anything!  
I was right on the bleachers that day, Noah Puckerman, you _are _an enormous jerk! Do me a favour and don't talk to me unless it is glee related from now on."

Puck swallowed. "Fine by me." He said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

Rachel looked like she was about to cry. "I don't know why I ever tried to find anything nice about you, Puck. It was obviously all in my head."

Perfecting another one of her storm-offs, Puck felt his stomach sink to what felt like the floor. He felt dizzy, he felt nauseous. He was pretty sure he was getting hot flashes. And cold flashes.

He wanted to punch something or someone. And more than usual. _Way more than usual._

She'd called him Puck. And it sounded so wrong and bitter and angry that he felt like he'd been slapped in the face. She might as well have.

Kicking the door open angrily and storming out of the school he swore loudly. He then proceeded to kick over a trashcan and shove some dweeb into a bush outside.

When he didn't feel the usual satisfaction he would get from terrorizing others, it worried him.

Peeling out of the parking lot, and past a stop sign without stopping, he swore loudly again.

* * *

Across the parking lot, Artie Abrams looked on at Puck's outbursts of anger as he waited for his parents to pick him up. Glad that he wasn't the target of Puck's frustration, he wondered what had gotten him so hot under the collar.

That's when he saw Rachel Berry hobbling into the parking lot, eyes red and puffy, fighting back tears and dragging her pink bag behind her.

Shaking his head and chuckling to himself, he put 2 and 2 together. And it equalled Puckleberry.

And Puckleberry equalled an explosion of crazy.

* * *

Puck sure as hell wasn't amused when he came home to find Finn and Quinn sitting on the couch sharing their feelings, but he didn't notice for awhile cause he was too busy slamming front doors and fridge doors and kitchen cabinets and kicking the garbage can in frustration when the stupid fucking step that was supposed to open the lid wouldn't fucking open the lid!

"Uh, Puck?" Quinn had questioned softly from the living room, and he had stomped into the living room.

"What?" He'd bellowed at her, and that's when he'd noticed Finn sitting beside her, also looking confused at Puck's anger.

"What is your problem, man?" Finn asked, and looked down at Puck's hand. "You're bleeding..."

Sure enough, Puck's hand had a nice deep gash across the back of it.

"Fuck. I didn't even notice." Then he shrugged it off. "I guess I'm just a badass."

"Any particular reason why you're destroying the kitchen?" Quinn questioned, a hand still on Finn's arm from their previous conversation.

Puck shrugged and opened the bag of chips in his hands, chomping down on them.  
"No fucking reason. None at all." He then glared at Finn who didn't understand what he'd done.

Quinn heaved a sigh. "Does this have to do with Rachel Berry?" She rolled her eyes.

Puck shook the accusation off. "No. That's...the most fucked up thing I've ever heard."

Quinn whispered furiously "More fucked up than stalking her at a golf course?"

Finn looked at Quinn surprised. "What? He said, and Quinn smiled at Finn hesitantly.

"Puck has a thing for Rachel." Quinn explained as if it was obvious, and Puck looked at her as if she was fucking nuts.

"Uh, no. I don't." Puck said, and Finn stood up, suddenly, a realization dawning on his face.

"Oh, my god. You totally do." Finn frowned. "What the hell, man? First Quinn, now Rachel. Did you knock her up too?"

"Finn!" Quinn exclaimed, looking hurt.

"You're the reason she won't date me!" Finn exclaimed and Quinn's face looked crushed.

"No, you're the reason why she won't date-I mean fuck, you're the reason why she won't fuck me." Puck piled more chips into his mouth What he said next was unidentifiable because his mouth was full of chips.

"Don't talk about Rachel like that." Finn said coldly, glaring at Puck.

"Whatever, man. You can't have them both!" Puck threw the bag of chips at Finn. "I thought you two were 'Reunited'."

Finn looked down at a sad looking Quinn apologetically.

"Oh, Quinn..." Finn sat down, "I'm sorry... I just..." Quinn sniffled.

Puck rolled his eyes. He couldn't handle this barf-fest. Slamming the front door and heading outside, he wasn't sure where he was going.

That is, until he ended up at Rachel's front door.

Pounding as hard as he good he prayed that her tall dad didn't answer.

When Rachel Berry's face appeared in front of him, he was sure to hold the door open as she tried to slam it in his face.

"Rachel..." he pleaded. "Wait."

She huffed and stepped back as Puck let himself in, closing the door behind him.

"Your dads home?" He asked, not taking his eyes off hers.

"Why?" She said coldly, arms crossed, "What are you planning on doing? Hurting me physically too?"

Puck said nothing, just looked at her sadly.

"They're not home yet from work." She relented, and turned around, her back facing him. "What do you want?"

When he touched her arm, an electric shock went through them both.

"Rachel." He said her name again, and she turned around. "I'm sorry I'm such a fucking asshole." He shrugged. "I try to be a good guy, but I guess it's not in my nature."

Rachel's face softened at his apology. Then she looked at him sadly. "Am I really that annoying?"

Puck nodded his head but said "No." _You're cute._ He wanted to say.

She smiled a small smile. "Do you really think I'm hot?" She asked, hopefully, looking shy.

"Yeah." He said, breaking into a grin, and giving her a once over. "You're a hot jew, Berry."

She rolled her eyes, but kept smiling. He quirked his mouth.

"Does it bother you that Finn's back with Quinn?" He looked down, afraid of the answer.

But that's when Rachel broke out into a huge grin.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" Puck asked her dumbfounded, and Rachel moved closer.

"I knew you were jealous." Puck made a pained face.

"What?" Puck stepped back. "What is your deal, Berry? Why do you keep messing with my head?"

"What are you talking about, Noah? I'm not trying to 'mess with your head'. I'm simply..."

"You're what? Lusting after Finn and getting off on me being jealous?"

"So you're jealous?" She asked excitedly, and he heaved a sigh, throwing his arms in the air.

"Look... Noah..." She placed her hands on his arms again. "I said I was sorry about Friday. Jesse and Finn. They've been...they've well left a considerable scar on my heart. I'm now extremely hesitant in romantic and...intimate situations. I was just scared Noah. And Finn, well he was..."

"What? Your one true love?"

"No. Far from it. I thought so, sure. But, no. He was just something that I thought about way too much."

Puck cringed.

"He was an idealization. A dream." Rachel bit her lip. "I need time to get over both Jesse and Finn, not for who they really were but for the dream of what they were, do you understand?"

"Not at all." Puck answered. I mean, what the fuck was this crazy chick talking about?

"It's sad when dreams die. But these dreams, they were never meant to be. Finn and I and Jesse and I..."

"Douchebag." Puck coughed, and Rachel laughed a little.

"...those were unhealthy fantasies." Puck frowned a bit at that last line.

"Sounds like what you said about us. That our relationship was built on a fantasy." That's when Rachel looked at him like he'd never seen her look at him before.

"Oh, Noah... the thing is. Ours was the only relationship I've had that wasn't. You weren't some traitor from Carmel and I never expected you to be some perfect Prince Charming. You were perfect just being you." She smiled. "Noah. I like it when you're Noah."

Puck didn't know what came over him. Only that he wanted her to look at him that way forever.

"I wasn't going to break up with you that day on the bleachers."

Rachel's eyes brightened and she smiled very wide.

He returned a grin, "Do you wanna work on some ideas for Regionals?"

Rachel took his hand and lead him upstairs. "I have so many ideas!" She squealed excitedly, and he laughed.

"Noah, you're bleeding! Let me bandage your wounds!" She'd exclaimed when she'd seen the cut on his hand. And Nurse Rachel kind of turned him on.

He was pretty sure they wouldn't making out right now, but Puck thought his day had turned around pretty quickly.

Rachel Berry wouldn't be able to resist the Puckinator for long.

* * *

**Next Stop, Regionals.**

**And are you still wondering what's up with Finn and Quinn? We'll find out soon.**

**Review Please :)**


	6. I Remember When I Lost My Mind

**Chapter 6: **I Remember When I Lost My Mind

(There Was Something so Pleasant About That Place)

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**A/N: So here's a short update! There's only one more chapter, and probably a epilogue left...but I thought I'd update with this at the very least.**

**I'm already starting a new story that's Puck + Rachel, it's AU and it's based on Roman Holiday! (Check it out if you want).**

**And don't forget to review :)**

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By the time Regionals came along, the New Directions were stressed to the max. Puck didn't want to be part of that, but he was. Strangely enough, he actually cared about glee. And he didn't want that stupid fucking Jesse kid to win. That was probably the thing he least wanted in the world.

And the thing he most wanted in the world was to sleep with Rachel Berry.

And do other stuff...I guess. (But he was ignoring those other foreign girly impulses _– _Like the one that wanted to run towards her slow motion on a beach._..wait...no...what are you talking about? He never dreamt that!_

_..._

_Okay he did. But just the one time_. _And then they had super hot and dirty sex._)

The problem was Rachel Berry had a one track mind. And that one track was currently winning regionals. Anything that did not fall under that ambitious plan was ignored or pushed aside.

Like the other day? They were in her bedroom, rehearsing their parts for the numbers they'd picked when he'd noticed that the top button of her blouse had come undone. Obviously that was freaking distracting, so he'd started to stare, and when she had noticed he was staring she'd hit him with a pillow and told him to focus on this one part where he was flat. He refused to believe that that was true, but he humoured her, hoping that this was all leading to something which involved less clothing.

But then at the end of their little extra glee practice, he'd tried to kiss her and she hadn't even noticed. No, Puck wasn't even kidding. His face had been less than an inch away from hers, and she had just turned her head and started babbling on about past regionals and what criteria had been present in the winners and what had been lacking in the losers, and Puck had just sat there, dumbfounded, and when he tried to lean in again, she had jumped up and started searching through her sheet music for some stupid song she'd thought Vocal Adrenaline had won with in the past...

Puck was fucking confused. It wasn't even that she was avoiding kissing him, or trying to distract him from kissing her. It was like she didn't even notice. She was in her own little world. It was driving him freaking insane. In his mind and in his pants, by the way.

Ever since that day when she'd told him that he was the only boyfriend that she'd actually liked (okay so his memory was a little fuzzy but it was something like that. Something like "Oh, Noah. I'm so glad I never had sex with Jesse or Finn because I want you inside me"). At least that's what he'd gotten out of it. And so he figured all he had to do was wait because she was healing from the douchebags who'd kissed her and then ran away (yeah Finn had told him about that one), and egged her in the parking lot (Yeah, he still wanted to punch that Jesse kid), but he was starting to feel unappreciated physically.

I mean, Rachel spent most of her time hanging out with him now, so he didn't feel jealous or any of that shit (which was extremely unpleasant, by the way), but when he flexed his guns, she didn't get that lusty look in her eyes (I mean she'd barely even glanced his way), and when he'd complained he was too hot in her bedroom and proceeded to take off his shirt, she'd just looked at him like he was crazy and told him to put his shirt back on. It was like she wasn't even turned on by him anymore.

Naturally, this left him more determined to win regionals, in the hopes that Rachel would be so freaking ecstatic she'd want to jump his bones right then and there.

* * *

The glee club was buzzing with nervousness, the friday before regionals, and Puck was shifting nervously in his seat. He was sure Rachel was twitching, and he hoped she hadn't snuck a Red Bull while he wasn't looking. The night before she had called him at about 3 AM talking about a mile a minute about absolutely nothing, and in between his confusion at being awake at that hour, and trying to follow any of what she was saying, he'd asked her "what the fuck was up?". She'd told him she did not have time to sleep tonight because she was going over the recordings she'd made at their last practice and making sure that they addressed their weak points today. She'd told him that she'd drank 3 red bulls at about 1:30 and she felt fantastic. Puck remembered being scared and threatening to call an exorcist before hanging up. She hadn't seemed to mind this morning, though, when she'd handed him a detailed analysis of his solos and what he could do to improve.

"Noah!" She'd squealed, shoving the folder at him. "Don't worry. I will sleep tonight and I will be well rested for tomorrow. But right now what we need to focus on is perfection." Her eyes had reached a level of crazy he'd never seen before and he found himself slowly backing away.

However, when he'd nodded at her and forced a smile, she'd threw her arms around him, and he thought maybe that was worth being woken up in the middle of the night. (He could kind of feel her boobs on his chest through her shirt.)

"Alright, kids. This is our last practice before we compete and we still have a couple trouble areas to go over with the choreography. I think..."

Mr. Schuester was immediately cut off by Rachel, who stood up, holding the remaining folders in her hand. "Mr. Schuester is right, and I think we need to really focus on the main choreography, and hide certain tall lanky people who can't dance in the back..." Rachel looked right at Finn who eventually caught on and frowned.

"Hey..." Finn protested, and Rachel just carried on.

"Also, I've made detailed notes on what each of you can do to improve on your particular parts and if you can go over them by yourself, and just make mental notes, than that would be great!" Rachel hopped around the room, handing the folders to each glee member, and they all hesitantly accepted them, eyeing Rachel weirdly.

"She seems crazier than usual." Puck heard Kurt say softly to Mercedes who's eyebrows were raised at the girl.

"Mmhmm.." Mercedes agreed, taking her folder, and flipping through them. Puck just grinned, amused at the speed at which Rachel's mouth was moving. Then he just stared at her mouth and thought of other things she could be doing with it.

Mr. Schuester finally ushered Rachel back to her seat, looking a little alarmed at Rachel's behaviour too. "Alright, thank-you Rachel. I'm sure that will be extremely helpful to everyone." He managed a small gracious laugh, and Rachel beamed at him, finally sitting down next to Puck. She looked at him, as if she was waiting for something, so he nodded at her to acknowledge her presence.

She just smiled and then she'd done something unexpected.

He thought he was hallucinating at first, but Rachel Berry had rested her hand on his leg. He wasn't even sure she noticed she was doing it, until she had smiled at him again.

He thought maybe Rachel should drink Red Bull more often...

* * *

When they got to regionals and Sue Sylvester was a judge there...everyone's morale dropped about a thousand points.

And Puck got it sure, it was fucking bullshit. Sue Sylvester was out to get them from day one.

But he wasn't about to let everyone give up before they even performed...it would be a total fucking waste of the year.

And besides, watching the whole glee club deflate in front of his eyes had been the last straw.

He looked at Quinn, frowning, her stomach out to forever, hands clasped over it, and he thought they should do it for Beth.

And then he saw Tina, bawling her eyes out, sitting on Artie's lap, and he thought maybe they should do it for all the losers he used to slushie until they became, like, tolerable to spend a couple hours a day with.

And then he saw Rachel, who 5 minutes earlier he'd sat beside on the bus, her eyes full of excitement and full of that spark he couldn't get enough of, and he thought that that was fucking it.

They could do this.

And looking at Finn, for the first time, he felt like they were on the same page again, because he was thinking the exact same thing.

And it didn't matter that they weren't friends anymore because he kept stealing every girl Finn liked before he could close the deal.

Bottom line - they needed to blow the fucking house down with how fucking awesome they were.

It was awesome that Finn and him could still communicate with their minds and shit. (Telepathically, Berry would say, but whatever.)

So, Finn with his I'm stupid but loveable good looks, and Puck with his Braveheart badass "you're going to fucking listen to me " sensibilities, delivered the greatest motivational speech since fucking Rudy.

And when they performed, they were on top of the world.

I mean, how could anyone beat a freaking Journey medley? It was impossible.

And when Rachel threw her arms around Puck and not Finn, who was too busy looking longingly at Quinn, Puck didn't care if being this happy about glee wasn't cool.

He didn't even try to grab her ass.

_S' Fucked up, right?_

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**Review :)**


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